tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.comments2023-03-29T07:38:23.474-07:00The Leen MachineKatehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01224027576480368039noreply@blogger.comBlogger66125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-27841881383868487632014-03-14T10:20:37.311-07:002014-03-14T10:20:37.311-07:00Kate, thank you so much for this perspective! I t...Kate, thank you so much for this perspective! I try to think often about how my relationship with Sam will be in the future. I'm happy to say that he is now a happy 1st grader and we've been very lucky to have teachers who are willing to work with us to figure out what is best for him. Hope you are doing well!Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01224027576480368039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-27833885291300385382014-03-14T09:03:46.353-07:002014-03-14T09:03:46.353-07:00Hi Kate (it's Kate Simson). I read your blog ...Hi Kate (it's Kate Simson). I read your blog occasionally, and I just re-read this entry. You know what it reminds me of? Me. When I was in 2nd grade, my school told my parents I needed therapy and counseling and that I had all these problems and was wrong, wrong, wrong. My parents weren't so sure but they also weren't sure what to do. So into therapy I went, at 7 years old, and you know what? I didn't need it. You knew me back then, so maybe you have some memory of how I was as a kid. But to be honest, it wasn't until some therapists helped my parents AND me figure out how to be all supportive TOGETHER (mind you this was when I was 20!) that things really improved. My parents' instincts had been right all along. Now, things are much better (I'm 26 now and have a pretty good relationship with them!) and the hard feelings have largely passed. But... there is definitely something to be said for parental instincts! You were always the very best babysitter, my favorite! I have no doubt that you are also the very best mother, and the very RIGHTEST mother for Sam (and your other 2 darling children as well.) Xo!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06785330375052723998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-47169380820963212392014-02-04T08:03:41.253-08:002014-02-04T08:03:41.253-08:00I say let her get what she pays for. I am sure she...I say let her get what she pays for. I am sure she can find someone for $15 an hour to teach piano. He or she may use that as entrance to their home so he/she can steal the silver, but again, you get what you pay for. <br /><br />I wonder if she uses coupons for lasik eye surgery as well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-56829182804994995072012-12-14T18:38:24.358-08:002012-12-14T18:38:24.358-08:00This was a beautiful, real, raw read. We are all r...This was a beautiful, real, raw read. We are all right here with you trying to process, and it's hard to find the words. Thanks for sharing yours today. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-82511130179737543382012-05-13T07:33:52.082-07:002012-05-13T07:33:52.082-07:00Happy Mother's Day, Kate!Happy Mother's Day, Kate!About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01865711519340576003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-30294247571113626682012-04-09T10:27:34.924-07:002012-04-09T10:27:34.924-07:00I really like your blog!!
It does sound like your...I really like your blog!!<br /><br />It does sound like your mother, and I believe it, because the same thing happened to me. It's been over 15 years since I lost my mother, who was an unassuming type who never drew attention to herself, like yours. In the couple of years following her death, I also noticed little things popping up in my life that seemed to have her touch. It still happens occasionally.<br /><br />A psychologist might say it's a projection of grieving minds--that we want them to be in our lives so badly that we've invented a presence for them.<br /><br />But...they don't know everything! <br /><br />Take care, and thanks for sharing your thoughtful and well-written posts.Domesticushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16984682389571582857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-67333343459785649402012-03-20T11:00:07.159-07:002012-03-20T11:00:07.159-07:00That is the same reason that we used to put the do...That is the same reason that we used to put the dorm newsletter on the inside of the stalls. :)anne watsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07166635086888129456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-81363721809091578362012-03-14T16:38:33.545-07:002012-03-14T16:38:33.545-07:00Indeed. Mini Robert Rodriguez over here.Indeed. Mini Robert Rodriguez over here.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01224027576480368039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-92011551152486553352012-03-14T16:30:38.579-07:002012-03-14T16:30:38.579-07:00Well, there's his first million. That's qu...Well, there's his first million. That's quite a little retirement plan you've got going there. ;)About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01865711519340576003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-85203742759936690622012-02-29T11:22:57.945-08:002012-02-29T11:22:57.945-08:00My wife and I joke about the time bc (before child...My wife and I joke about the time bc (before children) when we had ample, nearly unlimited amount of quiet time.<br /><br />Now there are occasions when are alone without the kids and we are so surprised at the quiet. <br /><br />It's amazing what practice I have been given to write short bursts of sentences for blog posts that do not get done during the 0530 club and instead have to be finished during the edit-my-blog-while-I-cook-dinner-club.<br /><br />†cinhosahttp://cinhosa.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-5679406691562103332012-02-26T14:51:20.112-08:002012-02-26T14:51:20.112-08:00I <3 Civil Discourse.I <3 Civil Discourse.About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01865711519340576003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-34080936744847118582012-02-24T19:52:37.388-08:002012-02-24T19:52:37.388-08:00Its always uncomfortable to hear someone question ...Its always uncomfortable to hear someone question a strongly held belief. Nevertheless, I think it is too easy to speak about "legislat[ing] for a diverse society" without facing the implications of the statement. Should the government provide free, universal healthcare? Should the government force someone to pay for someone else's abortion? Should the government provide tax benefits based upon two people wanting to live together? If someone is a true libertarian/anarchist that believes the government should stay out of everything, then I guess the argument can be made with a degree of intellectual consistency. But, once someone believes the government should be able to force people to act for the common good, then the argument loses much of its intellectual force and the question becomes what is the common good. Of course, people of good faith can have very different views of what constitutes the "common good" :)Marknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-5260697362548801142012-02-24T16:57:35.321-08:002012-02-24T16:57:35.321-08:00Good point, T, and I think it highlights a common ...Good point, T, and I think it highlights a common difference of views. I had a lot of time to contemplate this while swimming laps, and here's what my waterlogged brain came up with:<br /><br />To me, "everyone has free will to follow their own path to God" can easily become "All paths to God, no matter what they contain, are good because they lead to God." But there are some problems with that.<br /><br />Say someone robs a store and shoots the clerk with a shotgun and kills them. Very bad. Instantly or years later, he experiences a conversion surrounding this act. Wonderful. But that would not be a valid reason to say that what he did is acceptable, change murder laws, start buying everyone a shotgun, or requiring that everyone buy a shotgun. The ends never justify the means, no matter how great the ends are. <br /><br />Perhaps if we find ourselves living in a society where it gradually becomes ok to shoot people with shotguns, we might have people who also experience this on their path to God and are converted either directly or indirectly because of their experience. But at what cost? We'd also have a lot more people killed by shotguns, and a gradual coarsening of what it means when you kill someone with a shotgun, which gradually bleeds over into other decisions people make when they contemplate important things like the value of life and what it means to take the life of another person. Is it worth it? <br /><br />I know that's a dramatic example, but I think it lines up with what a lot of religious people, including me, see when they look at our society and head to the voting booths. Obviously everyone's mileage varies on how this plays out. But I'd posit that it mostly boils down to "We should make people's paths to God easier, not harder."<br /><br />Free will and people following their own paths - I do believe that's how we were designed. But I also think we all should not be required to groom, tend, and celebrate every single path because of its ultimate destination. <br /><br />I have no idea if this makes any sense because it's 5:00 on a Friday, but thanks for the comment, and for giving me something to contemplate on my swim. : ) I'll leave it to any other commenters on here to take up this discussion from here. Beer me!Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01224027576480368039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-30107964929609979992012-02-24T07:21:19.942-08:002012-02-24T07:21:19.942-08:00I am loathe to engage in religious discussion on T...I am loathe to engage in religious discussion on Teh Intarwebz, but this phrase stuck right out at me:<br /><br /><i>I believe that part of we humans' relationship with God is very much based on this idea of natural consequences. We have pretty much as much rope as we want. Free will and all that stuff. God very much wants us to choose the path that leads to Him, but He gives us that choice.</i><br /><br />I believe this with my whole heart. Which is why I get my knickers in a giant, uncomfortable twist when others try to legislate for a diverse society based on their own faith path. <br /><br />As you said, sometimes the hardest thing to do is to let others figure things out for themselves, but, ultimately, the lesson that they learn will stick with them. But THEY have to learn it.About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01865711519340576003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-52389400639407894692011-12-03T20:45:29.852-08:002011-12-03T20:45:29.852-08:00Thank you both for your thoughtful comments! See,...Thank you both for your thoughtful comments! See, David, I knew I'd use some fancy-schmancy philosophy word like agency and someone who actually knows what he's talking about would chime in. : )<br /><br />I can speak to MY goal in regards to authority, and that is to create autonomous people. Although I really think that the idea that we have control over someone, even (and maybe especially) children, is an illusion so I'm not sure it's really a choice to make. I can exercise extreme authority in the form of threats or physical violence, but in reality I cannot MAKE another person do something. They still have a choice, even if it is a bad one. And it has been my observation that parents that do this with regularity create children who sometimes make the "wrong" choice because, I believe, it becomes more valuable to them to experience and exercise their autonomy than to please a parent or avoid punishment. I think your expansion to the political and general social realm is very intriguing. I wonder who these kids in all areas of the spectrum will grow up to become? Only time will tell.<br /><br />Susie, your story illustrates so well how we as parents are judged in every moment by every type of person with every sort of expectation. I've been there, too, and it hurts. I'm hoping I'm getting better at shrugging it off. <br /><br />It actually made me think of an interesting story, and I can't believe I forgot it as it just happened. At the Seattle Half last weekend, I was about 400 yards from the finish line in downtown Seattle when a family with two little kids attempted to cross at a corner, right in front of me. The parents carrying their littlest were playing frogger with us runners pretty well, but the little girl (probably about 4) ran right in front of me and I ran right into her. Luckily neither of us fell over, but I had to stop and go around her. I asked if she was ok as I did, and kept going. I heard the lady behind me snap at the parents that they should watch their kid, and they called out an apology and I didn't think to respond with an "It's ok" or anything like that (I'd run 13 miles, and I'm not sure if I would have known how to tie my shoes at that point). I felt pretty bad for them, and the girl especially. She was at a crosswalk, of the type I'm sure she'd crossed by herself before, and saw nothing wrong with trotting through it like she usually does, and I'm sure her parents didn't anticipate that she'd just keep going as usual. She had no idea what we were doing or that we were focused and might not see her, and wouldn't be looking to stop for someone. How many kids regularly cross streets while marathons are going on? But I bet that she remembers that and learns from it, though, and so do her parents. Just like we do, and our kids do. I do wish that people in general were a little kinder to parents and kids, both of whom have a pretty steep learning curve. <br /><br />And if all else fails, I remind myself that they should be thankful us babymakers are producing little workers who will eventually pay their social security, so maybe they can cut us a little slack. : )Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01224027576480368039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-20941216409813113562011-12-03T10:51:53.063-08:002011-12-03T10:51:53.063-08:00Perhaps the "Unknown" namifier was simpl...Perhaps the "Unknown" namifier was simply your existentialist post-script, David. The philosophical cream on the cake. :) Kate, I have to confess, it's been a while since I've read your blog-- and man, with all the brain cells I feel like I've lost over the past few years of baby raising, it's nice to see that the same thing hasn't happened to you. But for what it's worth, I wholeheartedly agree with what you've said here. I once visited Marin County for a job interview my husband had, and we were placed at a very professional hotel. We had a very active toddler and a newborn, and I remember getting out of the elevator with them. I prepared the stroller to exit the elevator, and (should have expected but) didn't anticipate quickly enough my busy two year old bolting into the hallway as soon as the door opened, nearly running into a white collar professional waiting there. His angry response of, "Control the Kid Will Ya!" surprised and embarrassed me, and I mumbled an apology. Should I have grabbed her hand firmly before the door opened? Definitely. She was my first and I was still learning such things. Knowing her strength, speed and willpower, I may even have tried this, I don't remember. I'm a pretty strict parent in many ways, but that toddler (my first) certainly wore down my nerves. I am so glad that we instead found a job in a rural area where E could survive her childhood. Parenting fail? I don't think so. But he did.Susiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02713739843780355492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-58942255215975235462011-12-03T05:34:42.455-08:002011-12-03T05:34:42.455-08:00I don't know what happened, but that last post...I don't know what happened, but that last post was from me. :)David Andrew Kearneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17196842122710714345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-60604669490301197302011-12-03T05:23:01.755-08:002011-12-03T05:23:01.755-08:00Hi Kate.
I hope I'm not being too presumptuo...Hi Kate. <br /><br />I hope I'm not being too presumptuous in commenting here, not being a parent and all, but your experience brought to mind a number of things I've been ruminating about for a while.<br /><br />It seems to me to be more than simply "strict vs. permissive;" that's just too easy a distinction, and frankly doesn't mean very much. <br /><br />To me, the issue is a much deeper question about the nature of authority. Not just "what is authority" (although the philosophy major in me really wants to go there :) but specifically, just what exactly is a person in authority supposed to do? How does one judge whether someone is using their authority successfully? <br /><br />To get more down to earth: whenever I hear about people complaining about permissive parents, or especially about permissive public schools, I just have to conclude that they have a radically different view of what education is supposed to be than I do. I'm guessing that you agree with me that education isn't just rote memorization or whatever, it's more about learning how to learn, or learning how to live and enjoy this crazy world we live in. <br /><br />These others, it seems, view education (and parenting) as a pacification and regimentation program, producing people more than content to support the status quo. Okay, I know that last bit has political implications, but it is a political issue. <br /><br />So to go back to my original thought: if you have authority over someone, what is your goal? Do you want to produce people who (to use Kantian language) have autonomy? Or do you want people who live their lives by something other than their own lights?<br /><br />So I think you're right that there was much more at stake yesterday than who played with whom; it really was a stark demonstration of core values, of how people view life itself.David Andrew Kearneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17196842122710714345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-73741356107851090522011-11-16T17:21:53.968-08:002011-11-16T17:21:53.968-08:00Camille, thanks for sharing that. I think that pa...Camille, thanks for sharing that. I think that part of the issues with Sam might be boredom-related, too. This school has a much freer structure with access to pretty much anything the kids want to do during choice time. One kid apparently has been working on a space rocket for days, taking it home and bringing it back to further execute his ideas with the support of the teachers. Right up his alley!Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01224027576480368039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-88574991164934521072011-11-16T16:29:34.798-08:002011-11-16T16:29:34.798-08:00Good point, Bob. I should have also explained tha...Good point, Bob. I should have also explained that we're moving him to a school with two teachers who have Master's Degrees in early childhood ed, one of them with an emphasis on special ed. One of the suggestions the old school had was to get someone with more experience to observe him in the classroom so we could figure out how to approach any issues he has. I'm confident that they are going to be a better fit as we figure out what to work through and what to leave be.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01224027576480368039noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-28455703172519604692011-11-16T16:00:24.354-08:002011-11-16T16:00:24.354-08:00I think you made the right choice. But the problem...I think you made the right choice. But the problems which made you have to choose are real, and will not simply go away by changing schools. I think Sam will likely grow out of these issues but it would be a mistake to just assume Sam will grow out of these issues. My 2 cents.Bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12720363171845998155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-85368888943707763882011-11-16T15:07:16.166-08:002011-11-16T15:07:16.166-08:00So many things I never considered about being a pa...So many things I never considered about being a parent. Which is probably at least part of why I'm not one yet. But I believe enough in you, and in Sam, from what I read about him on Facebook :) that he is both bright and awesome, and that has a huge amount to do with his parents. My own parents had some problems with me when I was in school, if you can believe it. I was pulled from Portland Public Schools after kindergarten, partly on the advice of the principal at my elementary school (and thank god he was so candid and honest with my parents). I don't think I was acting out, but I know I was bored. Private school was the best thing that ever happened to me, at least as a child. I went back to public school briefly in 6th grade, my teacher told my parents I had an "attitude problem", a badge I wore proudly for the next couple of years.<br /><br />I guess what I'm saying is it takes all kinds. Courage to you and your family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-1768751523674938202011-10-31T13:52:18.332-07:002011-10-31T13:52:18.332-07:00I absolutely agree with you, Kate! Congrats on yo...I absolutely agree with you, Kate! Congrats on your familaversary... Sounds like a very romantic and ideal way to spend it. :)SayraBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09347627642481159309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-21392249088847866262011-10-31T12:24:51.085-07:002011-10-31T12:24:51.085-07:00Weeping. :o) So glad for you guys, Kate. And hap...Weeping. :o) So glad for you guys, Kate. And happy Familaversary!Laura Learnedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00542984258936349129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2278020343400506926.post-1923626872929160352011-10-27T04:32:42.972-07:002011-10-27T04:32:42.972-07:00I understand. If Maddy's Gigi (giraffe) went ...I understand. If Maddy's Gigi (giraffe) went missing, no one would ever sleep again in our house.anne watsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07166635086888129456noreply@blogger.com